so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
