I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
