I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
im on a boat
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