im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
