Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
