My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
