i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
