tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
