she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
