there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
