I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize