first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I fill condoms, not promises.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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