I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
