is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I touched a dick in church today
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