oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
