just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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