Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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