Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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