Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my god I love twenty year old dicks
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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