Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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