Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
