This girl is more easily done than said...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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