Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
