I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
