Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize