Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
