And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
