I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize