part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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