it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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