I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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