How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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