Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Randomize
