I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My vagina is officially offended.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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