shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
