We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
