And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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