i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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