North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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