There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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