i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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