How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
