She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
