Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
