just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
