I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
