Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
