there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize