he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So vagazzling was a success
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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