barbara walters just said penis...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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