remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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