Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
