My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
