im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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