i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
