Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
