# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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