smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
