Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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