meet me or not, i'm out of control
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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