I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just tell him i said nine months
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
