the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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