That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize