Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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