left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
