this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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