wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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