google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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