Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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