i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
